January 8th, 2009
I work at a church in childrens ministries. More often than not on Sundays, I end up watching the 2 year olds (they have a real volunteer problem for this room! LOL)
Anyways, this AM the mother of a 2 yr old boy whom I have watched multiple times told me that she doesn't feel comfortable having his diaper changed, and to page her if he needed a diaper change.
She laughed it off by saying that she won't let anyone change her sons diaper, it's her husband that has a problem w/ it, and she's quite sure that she's mentioned this to everyone. However, I know everyone at the church, and I don't recall this issue ever being brought up.
I thought it was REALLY strange.
What in the world would inspire parents to be paranoid about church employees/volunteers changing their babies diapers?
Would YOU be slightly offended by this? What would you have said? Would you bring this up to your supervisor?
***I am a female mother of 2 if that even matters***Some parents are just weird about these sorts of things.
Being sexually abused myself when i was 5-6 i know i will be paranoid about strangers being around my child. I will even be paranoid about some family members i reckon. Which i know sounds awful, but i just don't want my child to go through that.
Changing diapers... I doubt that will bother me, but we'll have to wait and see once i get to the 'baby sitting' stage of raising my baby.That seems very strange to me. Perhaps she or her husband had some experience in her past that caused these feelings.
However, if she feels strongly that she should be paged when her child needs a diaper change, perhaps she should not leave him in a nursery (or with a sitter, or with grandparents, etc.) until he is fully potty trained and does not have accidents.
I can see why you would have felt offended.
Personally.. if her child is over 2 years old .. he should be using a toilet.I would change it and check for signs of abuse...chances are that is what it is..Could it be that she is trying to hide some abuse that has happened to the boy? I know it's sick, but you never know anymore. I think i'd discuss it with your nursery director and see what they think about it. Because it DOES sound strange, just out of the blue like that.Some people are just paranoid. She might be worried that a) he's not circumcised or b) he is, and people would talk, or she could just be overly protective.I have been part of our church's children's ministries for over 30 years in various capacities. In the past few years we have had several parents who prefer we notify them in the event a diaper change is needed. I don't think it is too strange, but most parents don't have a problem with the volunteers changing diapers. Several years ago we wrote a policy for our church designed to have a consistent protection plan in place for all aspects of safety for newborns until age 18. When we were researching the policy, we contacted several other churches with plans already in place. We came across several churches who did not change diapers for any child, but rather always chose to contact the parents to perform that task. Our committee did not feel that to be a necessary part of our policy, but we understood how a church would feel that was the best course of action. I think it is simply best to respect the parents' wishes and not take it personally. In addition to my work at my church, I have also been a licensed child care provider in my home for 21 years. Today's parents have some legitimate concerns about the safety of their children any time they are not with them. Some are more concerned about some aspects than others. Unfortunately, churches are becoming one of the few avenues that an abuser can turn to since nearly every other area dealing with children requires background checks and thorough screenings. I would not be offended by a parent's request to be notified if their child needed a diaper change at church. I would respect that wish. Your supervisor should be made aware of this parent's wishes so that everyone on staff or volunteering can know what to do in the event the little boy needs to be changed.Me I would honor the parents wishes but I would also talk to the supervisor. That way you are covered if anything come up.
Thank you for being a volunteer.I go to church and thier is never enough volunteers for the little ones thanks.
no- even though it's church there are crazy people out there that might do something- look at those priests that molested those little boys- maybe that freaked her outI don't know how I would react. In my church nursery the volunteers don't change diapers, period. Usually there aren't any wet diapers that need changing because they are there for just two hours. For poopy diapers one of the workers brings the child to the parents. Part of it is a modesty issue, but the bigger part is just that the nursery workers shouldn't have to do it.
So would I be offended in your situation? Maybe. No, I wouldn't bring it up to a supervisor. It's really a trivial thing. If she wants to be the one to change him, let her. Just think of it as one less poopy diaper you have to deal with. She might just be really modest and not want anyone else changing her children except her. Or, she might just want the excuse to duck out of a boring meeting. Her son might also be a bear to change and she would rather deal with it than have someone else have to. She also might be potty training and have some preferences about diaper changing times. Unless you have a reason to be concerned about it (like the possibility of sexual abuse, which is unlikely since this is at church), just let it go.
Now if only I knew what to do about a nursery leader that I don't like in my ward.... lolDont get offended.. some parents are wierd.
Thats 1 less diaper you have to worry about. lol. Some kids really put up a fuss and fight in having their diaper changed. The best thing is not to pass judgment or think up a reason why. Just respect their wishes regarding the care of their child and assume the best - that they are loving, caring parents who have a reason for this. My son goes to pre-school and I wish I had the nerve to tell them not to change his diaper because he does tend to get rashes and they always call me and freak out about them - but I talked to the doctor about it and he didn't see a reason to get all hyper. My son actually has major explosions that exceed the volume of his diapers and he wears the largest possible size - I feel guilty when he goes to church and has one because I would much rather take the brunt of my son's challenges rather than putting that on them. He totally kicks and screams while being changed when he has an explosion - he hates it! Anyway.......... In my case, I really ought to ask them to page me to change him.......... Also, how many times has my son come home from being with grandma or some other caregiver with his diaper on backwards or half up his butt - and then he leaks all over the place. There are a gazillion very admirable reasons for feeling uncomfortable with someone else changing diapers.Yah, weird. and Yah, I'd be offended because I would take it personally. But I really think that people who are like this, usually have a reason.
Case in point..when my girls were babbies, I helped in the nursery at church. I had a friend who left her (female) child in there, but was really uncomfortable if there was ever a dad in there watching the babbies. She'd come back through the service, peek in the door window, etc.
Long story short, she told me later she was molested as a child. I guess that helped me better understand her hesitancy, and we ultimately became really good friends.
So who knows, with this lady. More than likely, there was something in her background that spooked her a bit. Well, or her husband, since that's the one she said has a problem with it.
I guess for me, I try to not judge and just realize that I have not walked in their shoes, and these kinds of quirks usually have a reason for being there. I'm rambling..but hope that made sense.I would look at this in a few ways. 1. Maybe the kids is a handful to change and would just rather be the one to go through it. 2. The child has a rash or bacteria and would rather nobody knows. 3. They are hiding something. or 4. They really aren't comfortable with other people handling their children. My daughter WILL NOT let anyone touch or even look at her "parts". I would be somewhat offended being that nobody has heard this request prior. But we had a bad experience with Sunday School plus the stuff with the priests and the young boys (weirdos can be anywhere these days) people are really just afraid. I would mention something to your supervisor because they may know something too. Hopefully it's just parents being over protective but like I said weirdos can be anywhere.
Good luckI would be offended if I were the only one they were saying this to, otherwise, I'd chalk it up to them being nutcases. I am not sure what I would have said...somthing like that has to catch you off guard. i would bring it up to your supervisor, just to make them aware of the situation in the event there are any issues arising from this (but that could just be the teacher in me, where the best rule, when in doubt, is to CYA).I could see where you might feel offended. I am a pediatric nurse and let me tell you - i hate changing diapers. If the parents are there - they can do it for them self. Have you changed his diaper before? If not maybe he has something wrong with his penis that the parents don't want any to know about.#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
|
Posted in patrickdeuel.com | edit
