March 17th, 2010
We were in a longterm relationship for 3 years, been broken up for over a year and a half but he won't move on. If I be nice he thinks he's in again and I have to explain all over again that we are finished because of reasons a, b and c. He just says I'm bringing up the past. We do have a child together so we do have to talk and no we can't be together. So any ways to turn him off me would be great!!! I just want to be friends for baby's sake :)get another bfwell, one thing I can say is that you really should not live in the past. I am not sure what 'a, b and c' were specifically, but whatever it was, it sounds like he is trying to put the past behind him and move on. How would you like it if you were dating a guy and he kept bringing up things that happened years ago, as if anyone has the power to go back in time and change things that already happened?
and if he is the father of the child, I would be careful if I were you, because he could end up deciding that he wants the child and then you could end up being tied up in a custody battle on top of everything else
I say, try to work things out, and find it in your heart to forgive him one last timeyou need to tell him that things have changed and that you guys were good friends and that is all that it can be, tell him that you have moved on and now it is his turn to move on also. tip-dont say anything like you still care about him because then he will think you still have feelings, you have to be straightforward with him and telling him that the past is the past and that you are now living in the present is the best way to do it. best of luck :)There is a difference between being friends for your baby's sake and being friendly for your baby's sake. Men really do take forever to get over a woman, especially when they are in constant contact. As a male, I would believe that he is constantly trying to win you back. This type of situation can be damaging for a child. Children naturally yearn for their parents to be together. It would be wise to not be in situations where you are alone such as in a house, or get into long conversations that do not deal with your child. You do not have to be warm with him, but you should be civil. Also, there is no need to bring up reasons a, b and c again. He knows them full well and to bring them up again he may be under the impression that he can correct those things and get you back. Try to make all meetings with him in public places and do not engage in very personal conversation. Some small talk and then arrangements, and then a civil farewell should suffice. Remember that though it mind sound cold, it is for HIS good. He needs to move on and to hang on to you is damaging to HIM. He will always have an "in" because of the child. It is noteworthy on your part to keep him involved with the child. Until something or someone else takes his attention off you, you will have this problem.First, dont invite him to do anything, dont call or email, or respond to his communication for a long while. Sit down with him after a few weeks and tell him straight up, I like you as a friend and for the baby's sake I want to remain civil and friendly not friends, there is a different. Period. Dont chat about the past. It will eventually stop. Put your foot down.You know putting off the guy just by telling him might not be enough if all he says is your bringing up the past. Why not tell him that you have moved on and he should too. Also tell him reasons a,b, and c stand with high notifications. =)be honest, and strict, and if he doesn't understand, find someone else or move out of town lolkick him in the groinGet a new boyfriend, that should work. Find a single girl(eharmony), show her his picture and give her all the information she needs (what he likes, what situations she could be in to run into him etc.) to win his heart over. He will forget all about you once he has someone else in life. Tape the whole thing while you are doing it and make a reality show out of it and post it on youtube. It may be a big hit and then one of the tv networks may buy the concept from you and you'll be super rich and he'll be out of your life and some lonely girl will have a new boyfriend.just tell him the truth.No need to play games.Tell him whatever is between u guys is for the baby's sake and that u just want to be on good terms. good luck
help:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...but for the fact you have a child together, would you still want to be a friend to your ex? still have him in your life? if you answered no to either question, the next time he comes around, tell him if it wasnt for the kid, you wouldnt be available to him even as a friend.
why did you break up? was there violence involved? cheating?get yourself a role in the next 2girls1cup and make sure he recieves a copy :P
lolBe frank and straight to the point.No Sweet talk so he will get the message you wanted him to understandthere is no good way, honesty is the only way. tell him that you're not in love with him anymore. that you're only being friends with him because of your baby. do it! be honest with him. tell him everything. :)well thats very mature of you, good job :)
also your ex, you should sit hhim down, and try to explain to him one last time that you all wont be together you know...
and the reason your staying friends is for the babys sake,
also, if he keeps up trying to win you back the child is going to get to the age where it sucks... having a dad whos always trying to gt back with his mom, and his mom is miserable because of it
so tell him that..
i hope this is good advice :)Think of all the qualities he does not like about you and over exaggerate them. One time I was trying to get this guy to leave me alone and I new he was afraid of marriage so every time I saw him I kept bringing it up. Soon he left me alone!!! LOL. Hope it works. #If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
|
Posted in patrickdeuel.com | edit
